Isaiah 32:17, and a catch up

"The work of righteousness will be peace, And the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever"  (NKJV)

I haven't posted in a while, either here or on my techie blog at mlpcoding.blogspot.com, as I've been feeling very low in spirit recently.  I had a three week absence from church, in the first instance because of a karate grading, followed by a weekend where I felt I really, really needed a rest from everything (I didn't leave the house), then illness.  Going back after that felt quite monumental, but go back I did.

I've had a depression relapse, (and the subject of depression and Christians is something I'll be writing about soon), and I'm currently changing the type of tablets I use to control my depression.  The process goes like this:  Reduce intake from 30mg to 20mg for a week, then reduce to 10mg for a week, have a 'clean' week of no medication, and then start and gradually increase the dosage of the new medication.

The withdrawal effects of the pill reduction is an increase in my already depressed state, paranoia, being on edge and irritable, and very, very argumentative.  My desire to isolate myself from everything and everyone is in constant conflict with my fear of being alone, and my wanting to be busy.  However, I'm confident that if I finally face up to my issues, and graciously accept the love and support of those God has placed around me, I'll be able to beat this, in God's time.

When I did return to Church last week, during the worship time, I sat for a while, as I sometimes do, and literally just flick through my Bible.  Sometimes a passage will 'jump out' at me.  On this occasion, the passage which did was Isaiah 32:17.  I wrote the verse down and have been thinking about it a little since then.  I believe God speaks to us primarily through his Word.  I was meditating on what was God trying to tell me.

The book of Isaiah contains many prophetic words about the coming Messiah, and reading the whole of Chapter 32  appears to me to be very prophetic.  This site can offer a better commentary than I ever could.

Verse 17, as quoted above, talks of, in my opinion, how the work of righteousness will result in peace.  As we know, righteousness can only be achieved in our worldly bodies by us through the sacrifice of the cross.  Jesus died so that we may be righteous in the eyes of God.  So by accepting Jesus as our saviour, we become righteous, not of our own doing but because of God.  How then did this description of tranquility fit in to the lives of myself, other Christians, and the 12 disciples themselves?  Acts 7:54 - 60 describe the stoning to death of the first Christian martyr - Stephen - at the hands of Saul.  My reading on the persecuted church describe Christians in this day living under persecution for their faith, and reading The Heavenly Man, which describes Brother Yun's struggles being a Christian in communist China, show me examples of Christian's not living in peace.  I don't feel very at peace at the moment either, although my struggles pale into comparison with those of Stephen, Brother Yun, and those brave Christians holding firm to their faith in the most trying of circumstances.

It was during this week, when thinking upon this verse, I realised.  God is not promising us lives where everything is happy and everyone loves us, and we have no problems to live with.  In fact, Jesus warned us in Mark 13:13 we would in fact be hated.

When I looked again at the death of Stephen, I realised, he died in a cruel and painful manner, but he died in the knowledge he was going to be with the Father.  Acts 7:59-60 describe Stephen's last words, which included the words:

"Lord Jesus, receive my spirit".

Stephen had an inner peace, where he knew he was going to something better.  He knew that whatever was done to him in the flesh could not change that!

I took my daughter to a youth night at my churches offices last night.  Whilst she was playing games and shouting I took the opportunity to have some quiet time in the prayer room.  In truth, I felt a bad spell coming, and wanted to be alone with God for a while.  Whilst praying, I remembered a book I had read when I was first diagnosed with depression.  It's First Steps out of Depression by Sue Atkinson.  One of the methods described in the book is to approach every situation with the thought, "Will this matter when I'm on my death bed?"  If the answer is no, then it's not worth getting worked up about now.  If it's yes, then it needs dealing with.  The book calls this the death bed test.  As Christian's, we have faith in something after the death bed.  So I wrote a quick note on my phone that I intend to look at whenever I feel a situation arising that I feel unable to handle.  I've called this the "Meeting God Test".  I've written "Will this matter when I go to meet God?  No?  So it doesn't matter now.  Let it go!".  This small note gives me a kind of inner peace that whatever is going on around me isn't important.  It's a small oasis of God in a world that's often frustrating and testing.

So I think that the peace, quietness and assurance that the verse describes doesn't mean we will necessarily lead lives of ease.  I think the verse makes a promise of a time of peace we will experience when we pass on.  We can have that peace in our heart now by keeping our eyes on Jesus, and the promises of salvation and eternal life with Him.

Do I feel that peace much at the moment?  Nope.  But my hope is that in time, as I learn to lean upon my God more and more, I will.  And, to quote Hetfield and Ulrich, "Nothing Else Matters".

:)